


A Krogan Walks Into a Salon...

by unholystagepresence



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: Mass Effect Holiday Cheer 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22645099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unholystagepresence/pseuds/unholystagepresence
Summary: My gift for the Mass Effect Holiday Gift Exchange, to the lovely Fourthage! The title speaks for itself. Happy Holidays!
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	A Krogan Walks Into a Salon...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fourthage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourthage/gifts).



‘’ _We need you to deal with a customer,’ they said,’_

Penny felt herself break into a cold sweat.

‘ _You always deal with the difficult customers,’ they said,’_

 _  
  
_And sure, yeah, Penny, _did_ generally deal with the difficult customers. She had grown up with four rambunctious brothers, of course she knew how to put her foot down and put on an aura of authority.

But what her terrified coworkers hadn’t informed her of was that this particular customer was a very big, very angry looking krogan.

‘ _It’s not like I have anything against krogan, of course,’_ she continued to think to herself, as she stared up and up and up at the alien staring down at her, given she was unable to really get any words out of her mouth, _‘it’s just not exactly normal for a krogan to be in a hair salon._ ’

  
  
It wasn’t normal to see any aliens in a hair salon, really, aside from asari searching for products for their human partners. After all, only humans and quarians had hair, and quarians didn’t exactly have the luxury of getting theirs styled.

‘ _Okay, Penny, you’ve got this. Just...put on your best customer service smile and get him out of here without causing any property damage.’_

So Penny put on her best customer service smile (okay, not her best, what with the slight trembling she could feel at the corners of her mouth), and cleared her throat so that her voice didn’t crack on the unease she was feeling.

  
  
“Good day sir, welcome to Waves and Highlights. My name’s Penny, how can I help you?”

  
  
The tension in the air didn’t let up, but she didn’t break. Yeah, she could do this.

  
  
The krogan grunted, lifting up his hand to point at her. “That.”

Penny grew even more tense, if that was at all possible. “I’m...sorry?”

  
  
He sighed, then pointed a bit more firmly, and a bit more directly. “That. You can do that?”

Penny followed the path of his pointing to the braid hanging over her shoulder. “Can I do a braid?” she asked, incredulous, not quite sure she was understanding him at all. But then he nodded.

  
  
“Yeah. A braid. Can you do those?”

Penny couldn’t help her eyes roaming over him, as if searching for some patch of long hair that he’d want braided. Maybe there was a beard she wasn’t exactly noticing? Did krogan grow beards? Did krogan have hair after all and nobody knew?

  
  
She swallowed, deciding not to remark on the fact that she didn’t see anything on him that could even potentially be braided. “Uh, yes. Yes sir, I can.”

  
  
“Good. I want you to teach me to do a braid.”

Okay...teaching him how to do a braid was a bit more...believable. But still not quite clicking in her brain as something that made any sense at all. So Penny defaulted to the most polite refusal she could come up with.

  
  
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t do lessons here.”

  
  
“I’ll pay,” he growled, slapping down a credit chit hard enough to make the desk between them shake. Penny started a few potential syllables, but couldn’t quite get them out as her monkey brain that screamed at her to run and her rational brain told her to get through this with the training she’d been given on handling unconventional requests.

  
  
Did she continue to refuse, and risk him getting angry? Sure, she could deal with an irate human man without batting an eye, or an asari that had started to trigger her biotics as an attempt at a threat, but an angry krogan was a whole ‘nother ball game that she wasn’t sure even she, wrangler of younger brothers, could handle.

  
  
So, she chose the path of least resistance. “Well, I suppose I could give you one of my appointment slots for a...braiding lesson.” She tapped on her omnitool and pulled up her schedule, finding an appointment time when the fewest customers would be around in case things went poorly. “Will the eighteenth at 1400 work for you?”

  
  
He hummed, before nodding, and pulled up his own omnitool to transfer his data to the schedule. She glimpsed briefly at his name (Saksar Vogg). “Alright, Mr. Vogg, your appointment is set.”

  
  
Vogg grunted, and turned to leave. Penny held her breath until he had been out of sight of the storefront for five seconds, and jumped at the clattering behind her, only to find her coworkers clustered behind the staff room door had knocked over a tray. Penny did breath then, shutting her eyes tight and focusing on getting her body to stop shaking.

  
There was no way she’d be able to relax until the eighteenth.

* * *

Doomsday came just as any other average day did. But it was feeling less like ‘Doomsday’ now than it had when the appointment had been made. After having some time to ruminate on the odd encounter, Penny found herself more curious than afraid. And it wasn’t like this Vogg hadn’t been polite, as it were. Brusque, maybe, but not rude.

  
  
Still, she was finding her nerves as 1400 approached, and her coworkers mysteriously found tasks they needed to do elsewhere.

‘ _The next time any of them want me to do something, they’re going to have to pay for it.’_

  
  
At 1400, on the dot, Vogg appeared from the crowd of people going about their daily shopping. It was hard to miss him, both given his size, and the way the crowd parted to give him almost an exact four feet of space in any direction.

But Vogg was not alone, for holding his hand was a human girl of no more than 6, a total anathema to the hulking alien beside her with her bright pink tutu, fabric fairy wings, and so, so much glitter everywhere. It wasn’t exactly difficult to put the pieces together at this point.

  
Penny straightened herself and put on her best smile, though this time without the trembling. “Mr. Vogg, yes? And who is this with you?”

  
  
Vogg looked down at the little girl and jerked his head towards Penny. She grinned a gap-toothed grin. “My name’s Kaliska, and I’m five and a half!” She held up five and two fingers, as if to better illustrate this difficult concept for Penny’s benefit. Penny nearly melted.

  
  
“And are we doing your hair today, Kaliska?”  
  


The child nodded, though she did it more in a full-body hop. “I want daddy to make me look like the princess!”

  
  
As if on queue, Vogg activated his omnitool and produced the cover of a picture book, on which there was a pretty princess with braided hair adorned with flowers. He was staring at Penny with eyes narrowed, as if daring her to say anything.

  
  
Penny knew better. Now, at least. “Right, then let’s get you set up in a chair and help teach your daddy how to do a perfect princess hair style.”

  
  
That part went well, at least, though it was difficult to keep a very excited young child from bouncing in her seat long enough for Penny to comb out any tangles.

  
  
“Sit still, pyjack. You said you would behave.” Vogg growled. Kaliska turned to look at him, and Penny caught the raise of a brow that was so like what she’d see with a father daring their kid to disobey. Kaliska nodded and sat on her hands, as if that would help. “Yes daddy.”

  
  
Vogg grunted his approval, then nodded at Penny. Taking that as his assent to start, Penny cleared her throat and pulled her fingers through Kaliska’s hair before parting it into three neat bundles.

  
  
“This your basic, simple braid, and there’s only three steps. Take the left bundle,” she lifted the aforementioned strands, slowly moving her hands so that he could get a good idea of what she was doing, “cross it over the middle and gently pull the middle out, so the left is now the middle. Then you take the right, and cross it over this middle...and then repeat.” She did this three times, slowly, before looking back up at Vogg. “So far so good?”

  
  
He was staring at her hands so intently she had to bite her lip to stifle a chuckle. He nodded, grumbling the instructions once again to himself.

  
  
“You keep doing this until you reach the ends, and then you use a small tie to keep it together. Need to see it one more time, or do you want to give it a try.”

  
  
Vogg grunted and approached after Penny had undone the braid and brushed through Kaliska’s hair to get it smoothed down again. She watched closely as Vogg parted the three bundles a bit unevenly, but nobody could start out perfect. Then he began to try and weave the strands together and it went…

  
Well.

  
  
It went pretty awfully. Strands were quickly beginning to stick out everywhere, he dropped more and more with each attempt at crossing over, and as he tried to tighten the braid, he tugged a bit too hard.

  
  
“Ow! Daddy that hurts!”

  
  
“Sorry...” he grumbled, but it was pretty obvious he was growing frustrated. Penny frowned. Well, of course it’d be difficult...the dexterity three fingered hands gave you wasn’t nearly as good as five-fingered hands. But she couldn’t do anything about that! Or, could she?

  
  
An idea struck her and she gently put a hand on Vogg’s to stop him. “Wait just one moment.” She hurried over to the reception desk and dug about in the office supplies, finding some medical tape. It’d do. She returned, and began to tape her fingers together, pinkie and ring, middle and pointer, until they were bound tight, unable to move on their own. It was a bit of a struggle on the second hand, but it served the purpose she intended it to, and she flexed them to make sure she wasn’t cutting off blood flow.

  
  
“Just let me try this out real quick...”

  
  
She gently ran a brush through Kaliska’s hair to get the new tangles out, then began to attempt the braid. It was quite a bit more difficult, sans two extra fingers, leaving even her clicking her tongue in annoyance at her lack of grace. But a few attempts, and she got the hang of how it should go with this particular configuration of appendages, then stepped back.

  
  
“Alright, this should work a bit better.” She carefully and slowly wove the strands together, explaining each finger placement for Vogg’s benefit, then stepped aside to let him take another crack at it. This time it went much more smoothly, with only a few dropped pieces and inconsistent tension. And on the second try, other than a few flyaways and one strand that ended up slightly shorter than the others, he had given Kaliska a perfectly decent braid.

  
“Well done!” Penny praised, then sucked in a breath as another idea hit her. “Oh! Wait, there’s one thing missing.” This time she hurried into the back of the salon, and plucked out from their cart of accessories a number of small, fake flowers. She handed a few to Vogg, then pointed out places where they would be more likely to stay within the weave of his daughter’s braid. “There. Alright, Kaliska...how do you think your daddy did?”

  
  
Penny held up a mirror to show Penny the back of her head, where the braid sat. She noticed, out of the corner of her eye, Vogg fidgeting with his fingers. Was he...nervous?

  
  
He obviously didn’t need to be, as Kaliska’s face lit up so bright, with a grin so wide it made even Penny’s cheeks hurt. “I have princess hair!” She turned around, bouncing in her seat once again. “Thank you daddy!” She flung herself at him from the chair, but Vogg caught her effortlessly with a low rumbling chuckle. “You’re welcome, pyjack. Y’like it?”

  
Kaliska nodded. “Uh-huh, uh-huh, I love it! I want to have princess hair _everyday_!” Vog was smirking, which Penny supposed was as close to a krogan grin as they could get, so obviously proud of himself that she couldn’t help but smile too.

  
  
“Remember your manners. Say thank you to Penny for helping.”

  
  
Kaliska turned her head to Penny with that same excited grin. “Thank you Penny.”

  
  
“You’re very welcome, Kaliska. It was a pleasure.”

  
  
Vogg pulled a credit chit from his pocket and tapped it against his omnitool. Penny’s pinged, and her eyes went wide at the very, very large tip he’d just added on top of the salon’s fee. “Oh, Mr. Vogg, no, I couldn’t possibly-”

“I ain’t taking it back.” he growled, still smirking, but there was that slight raise of the brow again, that brooked no argument.

  
Penny swallowed. How could an alien embody such human dad energy so well?

“I...thank you, sir. Umm...if she ever gets tired of the braid, I’d be...I’d be happy to teach you a few other styles you could use.”

Vogg grunted, almost thoughtfully. “Say good-bye Kaliska.”

  
  
Kaliska held up her hand and waved. “Good-bye! Daddy, when we get home, can I show my princess hair to Hopper? And all my friends and-”

Vogg was already walking away as Kaliska began rambling the way only a happy five-year-old could.

Penny waved until they were no longer in sight, then examined her fingers, starting to feel chafed from the binding. She flexed them and hummed in thought.

  
  
Maybe she could convince the salon to set up a few basic hair styling classes for aliens. It would certainly help at least one non-human out there.


End file.
